Here I am. Writing about my depression. It’s coming back to me.
I almost believed that I do not need to write my dprs series anymore, because I did not feel depressed and anxious often. Nevertheless, they all jump back and hit me hard in the last several weeks.
The reason might be the job hunting, the anger towards the gov, the uncertainty, the nightmares, the longing, the lonesomeness, the irregular eating habit.
My colleagues questioned my sexual orientation. I don’t even know if it’s a joke or not. I am really concerned about it. I do not know how they view the LGBTQ+ community. The overall attitude towards the LGBTQ+ is not positive. Look at the Chinese social media, we can see people’s strange passion about the homosexuality between couples, but it is pure entertainment and fan service of celebrities. They do not understand the pain or anxiety we have to bear. People shun away and spread gossip about us in the real life. The reason my colleagues had suspects on me was the long hair and being single. In other words, even if I was not a gay, unconventional choice still makes us the aliens in the crowd. I don’t like it. People never feel tired to stress how different they are from others, while they couldn’t feel comfortable to make a different choice. Hypocrites.